


the foxes will know our taste

by WelcomeToTheBadlands



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Assassins & Hitmen, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Angst with a Happy Ending, Devoted Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Rey Needs A Hug, Soft Ben Solo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:28:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23242516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WelcomeToTheBadlands/pseuds/WelcomeToTheBadlands
Summary: Rey is an assassin hired to kill Prince Ben Solo. What happens when she falls in love instead?
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 13
Kudos: 55





	1. i have known hunger

The streets of Jakku were the epitome of barren slums. The wind whistled through the streets at night, dogs howled at the moon, searching for something to eat. All of the people that were unlucky enough to reside in Jakku were very much like the hungry dogs that roamed the street at night, waiting to tear into some flesh to quell their insatiable hunger. Every day, people starved, every day, people died waiting for a better life.

Those who survived in Jakku had the same dead, soulless gaze, because this city sucked the life out of everyone that lived in it. The innocent died. _The ones who survived had something wrong with their souls,_ according to the upper echelon of society. _Jakku should be wiped off the map for the criminals that it breeds._

In some respects, Rey agreed with that sentiment.

Only criminals survived here, and she had adapted to that lifestyle well. She had made quite a name for herself over the last few years, tallying up a body count that was impressive to even the most experienced assassins. That was something that set her apart from others here, she took no pleasure in what she did most of the time, it was all for money. So she could afford a roof over her head, things to eat.

She had never had a job that would give her enough money to get out of the business. At least – not until today. Rey sat in her usual spot at the Sun and Moon Tavern, nursing a cup of hard cider. This was always the spot that people approached her for business, sitting down on the other side of her and waiting for the girl to acknowledge that they were there.

This time, the man that sat down by her side, dressed in royal colors and making it very clear he was much richer than Rey, scoffed when she didn’t immediately start to talk to him. “What do you want?” She asked him, clearly uninterested.

“Your attention, for one.” The older man said. Rey turned, putting her cup down and giving the old man a once over. He was tall, so much so that even in his seat he loomed over her. His cheek bones were sharp and most of his features were sallow. “Ah, thank you so much for providing it to me. I trust that you are the famous Rey. The Lady Butcher,”

“I just go by Rey,” She said. “And who, pray tell, are you?”

“Ah, forgive me. I am Lord Snoke.” It was clear that he expected some sort of reaction from her. Rey wasn’t well versed in politics though, nor did she care to become well-versed in politics.

“Well, Lord Snoke, is there any reason that you’re approaching me right now? Or did you mistake me for a Lady of the Night,” She knew that he had not, but there was something about this man that was making her feel uneasy. She wanted this interaction to be over with as soon as it possibly could.

“Ah, yes. I need to have someone killed, and I think that you be the person to do it.”

“Okay,” Rey turned more towards him, now he had her attention. “You know that I don’t kill children or pregnant women right?”

“Yes. Luckily I don’t need that sort of service from you. I need you to kill a prince for me,” Rey raised an eyebrow when she heard that. She had killed dukes and duchesses, she had killed no names that had pissed the wrong person off, but she had never killed a prince before.

“That’s going to cost you a lot, Lord Snoke.”

“I’m completely aware,” He told her, “and I can pay for it all.”

“Who’s the prince?”

“The prince is part of the Solo-Skywalker alliance. His name is Ben,”

“Is there any particular reason that you want this Ben dead?” Rey asked. She cocked her head to the side, waiting expectantly.

Snoke’s lip curled up in a snarl, revealing crooked and yellowing teeth. Rey wanted to ask him if she was supposed to be intimidated by that. “I wasn’t aware that you needed an explanation.” He said. “I thought that you just did as you were told.”

“Oh, I will kill him. As soon as I get fifty percent of the coin I ask for, up front. No negotiation, and an explanation as to why you want this man dead.” Rey was firm. This was her procedure.

“Fine.” He said. “Ben Solo is a scourge upon this Earth and a brat, he and the Skywalker family are the reason that there are so few magical creatures left in this land. He is in direct line from Anakin Skywalker, I trust you’ve heard of him.”

“Of course,” Rey said, even if you weren’t familiar with politics, you heard of myths and stories about the Mad King, the Dark Father. Rey had never known that he was a Skywalker though. She just heard that his name was Anakin.

“I’m afraid that young Ben Solo will follow in his footsteps, just last month, he made a speech condemning free speech. He must be stopped.” Rey raised her hands, signaling that she had heard enough.

“Okay,” She said, “I will kill him. But I need you to present me with the proper coin first.”

“I will pay fifteen hundred up front, and sixteen hundred afterwards.” Rey nearly choked on her hard cider when he said that.

Part of her wanted to ask him if he was joking. That was way above her pricetag. “How do I know that you have that?” Rey asked him. He grinned, this time actually managing to disgust her in the process. That was when Rey realized what disturbed her exactly about this man.

The people of Jakku had this sort of flat, dead eyed glare about them, from the soul being sucked out of them by this cruel world. Snoke, also had a flat, dead eyed glare about him. But there was something else there. A malicious nature that made him resembled Baba Yaga, waiting to feast on the organs of children. “I will show you,”

“Just to preface, I take my money in public.” Rey said. “Not that it’s anything against you, but I don’t go places with anyone.”

“I understand,” The Lord told her. “I don’t trust people either, so –“ He turned to make eye contact with a red headed man in a knight’s outfit, who briefly went outside, coming back with a rucksack in hand that he plopped down on the table in front of her.

Rey’s eyes went wide as she opened it to see it stuffed to the brim with gold coins. If she didn’t get out of here soon, she would get mugged. “The job will be done.” She told him.

“I expect proof for the other half,” Snoke told her.

“A head or a hand?”

“Surprise me,” He told her. “Just make it hurt.”

\--

It had been five days since she and Snoke had made their deal, and he provided her with a horse, a dress, and a cover story as well as a map to get just to where she needed to go. The Skywalkers reigned from the middle of Coruscant, which meant that her job would be more difficult, but Rey knew that she would figure it out.

She had been gifted with the ability to make people feel sympathetic for her, and the ability to act. It was something that made her better at her job than most. As she got closer to the Kingdom of Coruscant, she left her horse behind and put on the dress that Snoke had intended for her to wear, she then buried the gold that Snoke had given her and moved a mossy boulder that wasn’t too big to cover the spot that she had just dug up.

Then, she got to work. The dress that Snoke had given her was very beautiful, made of royal silks. It fit almost perfectly on her. But in order for her cover story to work, she needed it to look a lot less beautiful, and a lot more like it had been through hell and back.

It didn’t take much to dirty herself up and wander through the woods until she found herself traipsing right into the line of sight of a patrol of knights. It didn’t take much for them to believe her story, that she was a princess from a far away kingdom that had been attacked and that she so desperately needed their help.

She was on a horse with a knight, headed to Coruscant within a few hours. “T-thank you, s-sire. I’m s-sorry, I d-didn’t kn-know what to do.” She sniffed, letting out sobs every once and a while just to sell it. When they finally got there, she let him get off the horse and then help her off.

“Come, my lady. We will get you to court, the King and Queen will grant you safe haven here. I promise it.” He said.

“Are you quite sure?” She sniffed. “I wouldn’t want to be a burden,”

“I swear it,” He told her, “you will be fine. Something horrid has happened you, but you are very brave.”

“Your kindness is so much appreciated, sire. Thank you,” It was too easy, to say exactly what people wanted her to say. He helped her get to court, and there she waited, knowing that soon she would have to convince the King and Queen of who she was.

She knew that she shouldn’t be nervous, she had done things like this before. The knight had left her and she stood waiting, and that is where she first saw him. The tall man that was sitting on the other side of his mother, listening to the ailments of the people with intent. She wasn’t sure what she was expecting when she saw him first. Perhaps someone older, with cruder features, dressed more pretentiously.

But this prince was something else. Where his parents were dressed more ostentatiously, with ornate and royal garnish to their clothes, he dressed more simply. Still managing to look regal the entire time. His dark, raven black hair was one of the most magnificent things that Rey had ever seen.

_Calm down_ , She thought to herself, _just because he’s good looking doesn’t mean that he’s undeserving of his fate._ With a moment, she steeled herself, and she started to act. She was in front of an audience, and it was where she performed best. Telling everyone of her harrowing tale, of a small kingdom that had been attacked by savages, of how she had been looking for safe harbor for what seemed like forever. She had blood and dirt caked under her fingernails, fabricated some bruises to make it more convincing.

The royal court ate it up like it was a play, unfolding in front of them. Rey sobbed and got on her hands and knees but knew not to act too boisterous, begging for housing. “Please,” She said, “I wouldn’t ask if I had somewhere else that I could go.” Queen Organa looked at her with a sympathetic gaze, turning to her husband and whispering something to him, and then her son. Then back to Rey.

“Our land is your home, Lady Rey.” She said, “We will have you put in one of our best chambers and you can stay here for as long as you want to. All of our resources are your resources.” Rey gasped and thanked them for their kindness, and then was escorted away by a maid. 

__

The first time that Ben Solo saw Lady Rey, it was beautiful outside. But not as beautiful she. Even as injured and beaten as she was, as she pleaded for a place to stay, for safety, her beauty shown true. Her cheeks were stained pink after she had been crying so hard. She looked truly worn out and tired and Ben’s heart went out to her, even though he hardly knew her.

After court has subsided for the day, his mother turned to him and said, “No.”

“What?”

“Leave the girl alone,” She said, “she’s had a trying time. She doesn’t need to be visited by anyone right now.”

“I never said that I was going to visit her,” He said.

“I know, but I know that face. You think she’s beautiful,”

“I don’t think that matters, mother.”

“Maybe it doesn’t, but I saw the way you looked at her. She doesn’t need that right now, she needs to rest.” Ben rolled his eyes, obviously irritated. He didn’t know why his mother always assumed the worst of him. Think that he didn’t know not to flirt with a girl after she had just lost her entire country. “Promise me that you at least won’t annoy her until tomorrow.”

“I promise,” He lied.

He intended on visiting the princess as soon as the coast was clear. And he did exactly that. It didn’t take much for him to figure out where she was. She was in a room that Ben was sure had once belong to Leia once, and then became a room that some of the duchesses of the court would stay in. Now, Rey was here. It had been clear that she had taken a bath and was now donned in a white cotton dress when Ben knocked on her door. “Sorry,” He said sheepishly, “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“’s okay,” She told him. She got up from her bed and bowed, “I want to thank you again for your family’s hospitality. It means the world to me.”

“It’s the least that we could do,” He told her, “I’m sorry that this happened to you.” He kept a healthy distance from her, staying in the doorframe. “I just wanted to tell you that if you need anything from me, don’t feel afraid to ask.”

For a second, she looked at him puzzled, then her face melted back into one of gratitude. “Thank you, your majesty. I have never received such kindness, even from my own family. I just – thank you.” His heart ached for a second as the two of them stood there awkwardly.

“Well,” He said, “I should leave you to rest. We’ll have a maid bring you breakfast in the morning,”

“That sounds lovely,”

“Are you hungry right now?”

“I’m afraid right now I’m a bit too tired,” He nodded when she said that. It was understandable.

“Well then,” He said, “I shall leave.”

“Okay,” Rey bit her lip as he turned around, about to head the door when she said. “Wait. Ben?”

He turned around again, “Yes?”

“Erm – is there any way that I could see you more? Tomorrow?”

With that, he felt a smile donning his face. “Of course.” He told her. “I would love to see you more.”

__

Rey wasn’t sure what to make of Ben after the first time that the two of them talked. He was much nicer than he appeared to be. But that was just her first impression. Rey had met loads of people that seemed like the nicest person in the world, at first. And then things would proceed to turn sour. It was entirely possible that he would be one of those people.

She shook off her meeting with him and started to plan. When she had entered the castle, she had pick pocketed one of the passerbys, acquiring a rather slender dagger. It was nothing special, but it could get the job done and be inconspicuous. She might need something bigger to actually be able to kill Ben Solo though.

For right now, she would rest.

And she did. In the morning being risen by a maid knocking on her door lightly. “Are you awake, my Lady?” It still took a little getting used to when people called her that.

“Err, yes.” She said. “I’m awake,” The maid opened the door and came into the room with a tray of fruits and breads and meats and cheeses, placing it on the table besides her bed. Rey had never seen so much food in her life that was that rich. She shook her head, her mouth salivating a little as she got out of bed.

“I hope that everything is to your liking,” The woman said.

“I’m sure that it will be, thank you.” The maid smiled.

“You know, I’m not supposed to say this, but you are far more kind than some of the duchesses who stay here.” Rey’s heart went out to the woman. She knew what it was like to be spat on by the rich, so that statement didn’t surprise her one bit.

“Ever since I was a little girl I was taught that everyone deserves to be treated with respect and kindness, and that they will give it back to you if you treat them fairly first. Whilst that might not be true all the time, I try and uphold that as much as I possibly can.”

“That’s very honorable, My Lady.” The woman said.

“Just call me Rey,” Rey told her. “And you?”

“I-my name is Kaydel,”

“Kaydel,” Rey smiled, “what a pretty name.”

“Thank you, Rey.” She blushed a little at that. “Is there anything else that you need?”

Rey stared at the big tray of food awaiting her and then back to Kaydel. “Er, no. I think I’m fine.”

“Good. I will be back when you’re done with your food, and then after that, Leia has some dresses that might fit you as well that you can try on if you’re up to it.” Rey smiled, even though she wasn’t very keen on dresses at all. She much preferred pants.

“That sounds splendid,” She said.

Kaydel grinned at her and bid her farewell and Rey got to eating. She had to be careful about how much she had, there was never such rich portions in Jakku. Rey only ate a little of what was given to her, claiming to Kaydel when she came back that she didn’t have much of an appetite.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,”

“Was there anything wrong with it?”

“No,” Rey said, “there wasn’t. I just haven’t eaten a lot in a while and I don’t want to get sick.”

“Oh,” Kaydel nodded, “that sounds about right.”

“Will you please distribute it to people in need? The leftovers? I don’t want anything to go to waste.”

“You must come from a truly magical kingdom,” Kaydel’s eyes softened, taking Rey’s things from her. “I will try and see what I can do.”

“Thank you, truly.” With that, the woman left, and Rey was left to her own devices for about an hour before she happened to glance out her window and down below to the training grounds. There she saw Ben and his knights, training. She watched for a minute, paying attention to his fighting. Sometimes you could tell how a man truly was from the way he used his sword, but he always seemed like he reserved himself where he didn’t have to be cruel. Every once and a while Rey wondered if this was how all Knights fight, because even though they fought well, in a fight with someone less classically trained and more focused on brutality, they would be dead meat.

Ben did win almost every fight though, which was entertaining to see. Rey sighed, watching him fight until they decided to break from practice. It was then that he happened to glance up at her through the window, smiling when he saw her. Rey bit her lip and then left the window, pretending to busy herself until Ben got up to her room and knocked on the door. She opened it, her eyes wide. “Morning,” He said.

“Morning,” She said softly. The two of them stared in each other’s eyes for a minute and Rey suppressed a smile. “You’re a very strong fighter.”

“You were watching,” He pretended to sound surprised at that.

“I couldn’t help myself,” Rey said shyly, “I saw you out there and I just couldn’t stop watching.” Part of her hated this act that she was playing, the shy princess that was injured, staying here because she had nowhere else to go. She had been self sufficient her whole life and didn’t need this. Didn’t need a man who was big and strong to protect her.

_You could just kill him right now._ She thought to herself. She didn’t, though. She needed to learn more about the man in front of her. “There is one thing, though.”

“What?” He asked.

“Your footwork,” Rey said, “it doesn’t open you up to move as quickly as you should. That little slowdown will get you killed if you were on a real battlefield.”

Ben raised an eyebrow and Rey had no idea why she felt things when he did. “They teach women to fight where you’re from.”

“Some, yes.” She said. “I was fortunate enough to be wealthy enough for a very comprehensive education in maths, arts, and sciences. As well as fighting,”

“Well,” He said, “I shall heed your advice next time. Perhaps you could show me some of your skills at some point as well.”

“Perhaps,” Rey said, “maybe one day.”

There was a minute of silence between the two of them before Ben asked, “Would you like to go for a walk with me?”

“That would be lovely,” Rey said.

__

There was something about the Lady Rey that Ben couldn’t get over, perhaps it was the fact that her smile could light up a whole room, maybe it was the way her hair looked when it was braided neatly down her back. Or the fact that the light was shining on her in a way that made her look like a goddess amongst men. The two of them had to be accompanied by guards, much to Ben’s disapproval.

Rey didn’t look too happy about it either, “Is there something that’s troubling you?”

“I just don’t like being followed around by guards,” She said. She was silent for another second before she said, “I had a bad experience in my homeland, two of the guards turned on the others and nearly killed me in the process when the war broke out. Left a bad taste in my mouth ever since.”

“That’s awful,” He said, “but if something like that were to happen here, I would protect you. You’ll be safe.” The princess nodded and for a moment, the problem was dealt with.

They were out in the garden grounds when Ben was starting to get annoyed with the guards himself, he wanted to talk to her without getting interrupted by the guards, pretending that he was a little boy that wasn’t able to protect himself. “I have an idea,” He told her. “Trust me?” Her eyes danced mischievously, and she nodded.

__

It turned out that Ben was exceptionally good at slipping away from guards. Rey found that that must be useful. “Sorry about that, they can be kind of annoying.” The two of them walked along a hidden path close to the garden grounds, still in view of the castle. Rey wondered how far along that they could go. Where they would be far away from the view of the main castle.

“It’s not your fault,” Rey told him, “your mother is just protective. I get the reason for the guards.”

“As do I, still, I can protect myself.”

“I’m sure that you can,” Rey giggled.

“What?”

“Nothing,” She said, “it’s just that – it’s pretty obvious that you can. Being all big armed and handsome like that. I don’t think that you need to state that you can protect yourself.” This was the first time that she saw Ben blush. There had to be something wrong with her. She had never felt herself heat up when interacting with a man before. Especially a target.

“Thank you,” He said.

The two of them continued to talk as they walked along the path by themselves. Ben asking her about her homeland, and Rey made up a few lies, but the most of what she told him was true. There, people had a tough time. It was easy to tell that people were not doing well and most of the magical creatures that had nowhere else to go had gone there as well.

“Whatever happened to the magical community?” Ben said. “I’ve heard stories that there used to be thousands of witches that lived among us, and now there’s nothing around here. Did they all end up in your homeland?”

“In Exegol?” Rey said, “No. They’re all over the place. But uh – there was a warlord that ended up killing a whole bunch of them, hanging them, going on a crusade. There was a lot of blood spilt and a lot of them ended up dead.”

“That’s awful,” Did he really not know? “You must forgive me for my lack of knowledge in history, my tutor was never very forthcoming on that sort of thing while I was a boy. Another thing that my mother tried to keep me sheltered in.”

“A lot of history is just plagues, war, and heart break. Or dates. Either dreadfully boring or weird and awful. So I don’t blame her in that regard.” Rey said.

“Still, I wish to know more about our people and my heritage.” That wasn’t really a good idea.

“I feel like it’s better to live in the now,” She told him, “to enjoy what we have while we have it. Don’t you?”

“Yes, I think that’s a very lovely sentiment.” He said. Rey started to change the subject to something more desirable as the two of them started walking. She wasn’t sure how long the two of them had talked, but she knew it was for a long time, because eventually as they started to head back towards the castle, Ben bit his lip and said, “I think that my mother’s going to be mad at me for being away for so long.”

“I’m sorry if I caused you any trouble,”

“No, no.” He grinned at her. “It will have all been worth it. I enjoyed my time with you today. I hope we can do this again more.”

“That would be great,” Rey said, “I enjoyed my time with you today as well.”

As the day wore on and the two of them parted, Rey wasn’t sure how to feel. She knew that Lord Snoke had insisted that he would follow down the same footsteps of his grandfather, but it was clear that he didn’t even know what his grandfather had done back in his day.

He was naïve, yes, but was he really at fault for being just as mad as the Dark Father was? She wasn’t sure. She would need a little more time before she could decide that for sure. And there was a problem in that. She was growing attached to the prince, and if it kept up at this rate, she might not be able get her job done.

There were things that she had to worry about, but not as the moment as Ben was knocking at her door again. “Are you hungry?” He asked her.

“Yes,” She said.

“Well, dinner’s in about fifteen minutes. Would you perhaps like to join me and my family?” Rey bit her lip, not sure exactly what to say.

“I’m afraid that I wouldn’t be very good company,”

“Oh, no one’s expecting that from you.” Ben said. “I know for a fact that I’m terrible company, but my parents have to deal with me every day, so there’s that.”

At that, Rey chuckled. “Then I shall join you, we could be terrible company together.”

“That sounds like a deal,” He said.

Dinner went better than Rey expected. Everyone was very respectful, painfully so, and Rey picked up what to do as everyone else ate. Being as quiet as possible to give off the impression that she didn’t want to be noticed. Then Leia said something. “So, Rey. How was your walk with my son earlier today?”

Rey blushed and Ben said, “Mother.”

“I just wanted to know. Did you have fun?”

“Your son was lovely,” Rey said quietly. “It was great to take my mind off of things.”

“Ah,” Leia said, “good to know that my son was treating you well.” He rolled his eyes at that and mouthed the words, ‘sorry’ to her from across the table. Rey smiled and continued eating. Other than that, there were no incidents at the dinner table.

__

Through the next week, Ben got to know Rey better, and every time that he did it was like something in his brain was telling him that this was the most beautiful woman in the world and he needed to cherish her. She was kind and gentle and she listened to Ben when he needed to talk. That was something that not many people did.

Even though she was of royal blood, she didn’t care about status. She seemed like she cared about her past people. Sometimes she was sad, and Ben tried his best to cheer her up. He would bring her flowers or chocolates. She was always grateful. She told him that she didn’t have a need for the ornate things in life. She much rather liked to look upon the living.

Ben agreed with that sentiment.

The two of them would take regular walks, this time with less guard detail as he persuaded his mother not to bother him with that sort of thing. They would share shy looks and gazes upon each other. Rey still kept to herself for the most part. Telling him some parts of her life, but not everything. Ben understood that, they just started talking to each other.

But the more time they spent together, the more he wanted to know about her. Rey was an enchanting soul. From her beauty to her wit, there was something in her that just entranced everyone that she met. She was relatively shy, but once she really got going about something that she was passionate in, Ben thought that he could listen to her speak for hours without getting tired.

It was soon that he had known her for a month when their relationship started to bloom into something new.

__

It was the middle of the night when Rey watched Ben sneak out of the castle. That is when she grabbed her dagger and slipped it in her dress neatly, ready to do a job that she wasn’t sure that her heart was in anymore. The guards in this castle were hilariously foolish and easy to slip by, Rey was fairly certain that she thought that knights were supposed to be kind of aware of their surroundings, but these knights were not. She slipped out of a second story window and started following the path that the prince had gone down.

The moonlight was the only thing that lit her way along the path, pearly white light illuminating an otherwise pitch-black dirt road. She was careful to be silent, avoiding the view of people in the lower village as she followed him to a pond, circled by trees and out of the view of others. _This would be perfect,_ she thought to herself. But something told her that she needed to be observant before she struck, so she was. She hid behind a tree and watched him.

Was he crying?

He was crying. His head was hung low, being supported by his hands. Rey bit her lip. This shouldn’t prevent her from being able to do her job. She should just get it over with so she could collect the rest of her money and leave, never having to work in this industry again. Still, the more human part of her told her to figure out why he was crying.

She felt something in her need to reach out to him, so in one foolish move, she stopped hiding and traipsed right out onto the bank of the pond. Ben jumped, drawing his sword, Rey put her arms up and pretended that she was scared. “Oh, oh. Sorry. Sorry, it’s just you.” He immediately put his sword back in its sheath.

“I thought that this was just my crying place,” She said, looking down before looking back up at him. “It seems that we may have similar thinking though.”

“It seems we do, My Lady.”

“Please, we’ve known each other long enough for you to just call me Rey.”

“That’s right. Forgive me, Rey.” Rey wasn’t sure what it was about his voice that made her feel _hot_ on the inside but it did. Again, she was reminding herself that she had a job to do. She shouldn’t be fixating on this boy, even if he was good looking, and even if he had treated her so nicely ever since she had arrived in his home.

“All will be forgiven if you tell me what you’re doing here?”

“You first?”

“I was the first to ask you,” Rey pointed out, “what are you doing here?” When Ben didn’t answer she sighed. “If you must know what I was doing here, some times I come out here when I think about my people. The ones who died, the ones who I cannot help. And I just hope that they will get a better life, I hope that one day they will get a good ruler.”

“Have you ever thought about reclaiming what is yours?” He asked.

“No,” Rey said, “that is not for me. I’ve never been one to want to rule anyways, that might be selfish but what I really want is someone to love. And someone who loves me. And a family. Those are the things that I wanted.”

“I’m sure that you’ll have those things someday.” Ben told her. Adding, “I don’t think that’s selfish. To want those things.”

Rey was silent before saying, “enough about me. Why are you out here?”

She wasn’t sure what she was expecting out of him, but the next thing that came out of his mouth was a shock to hear. For multiple reasons. “I learned that my grandfather was the reason that so many magical creatures lay dead, that my family is responsible for so much bloodshed that they just try to ignore.” Rey didn’t say anything, she had to remember to pretend to look shocked. Her heart went out to him though. Did he really not know about his bloodline previously? He must not have, otherwise, what would warrant this reaction? “I just – I couldn’t deal with it and I confronted my mother about it and she told me that I was overreacting and that there was a reason why they didn’t tell me who I was related to.”

Without thinking, Rey grabbed his hand and squeezed it tight. Trying to be reassuring. They moved over to a rock next to the bank of the pond and sat down there. Rey still held his hand. Ben laughed hollowly before continuing, “I can’t believe that my own mother doesn’t trust me that much.” Then he paused. “Actually, I can believe it. Neither of my parents have trusted me, ever. It’s tiring if I’m being honest.”

“If it makes you feel any better, most kings are butchers. So my bloodline isn’t much better than yours. It doesn’t define you.” She had no idea what having a parent was like, so she didn’t know what advice to offer. Part of her wanted to say, ‘At least you have parents.’ But that would blow her whole cover. Instead she said, “My parents didn’t trust me either, so much so that they were going to sell me off in a loveless marriage with someone that would’ve kept me from being able to speak my mind. They didn’t even let me fight when the warlords came. It was a bloodbath. There’s not much you can do in terms of making your parents trust you. That’s something that they have to do themselves.”

“I suppose you’re right,” Ben said, he looked at her in admiration, and Rey just felt – bad. Really bad. For lying and telling this man that she was someone that she wasn’t. It was also then that she decided something. She wasn’t going to kill him. She couldn’t in good conscience kill him. “How did you become so wise?”

“I have no idea,” Rey said, “but please. Keep flattering me.”

Ben grinned then, and it was like his frustrations had been forgotten. He was still holding her hand. “Well, where should I start? Should it be with your beauty?” He brought her hand up to his lips and all the sudden Rey’s heart was beating faster than a hummingbird’s wings. Softly, he kissed it before letting it fall down back beside her. “Or shall it be with your wit? Or your kindness and generosity? Or your ability to listen and give advice when necessary. I could go on for days,”

“You’re really something aren’t you?” She said. “How can you find all these words to say just the right thing like that?” That was something that she had _absolutely not_ meant to say. Yet, she still did.


	2. i have never known color like this morning reveals to me

“It’s easy to find the right words when the person that you’re talking to is a goddess amongst men.” The two of them were inches away from each other. Rey told herself that she was not going to fall.

Yet here she found herself.

Falling.

She found out that night that Ben Solo was an incredibly good kisser. She had kissed many rich men before, right before she killed them, but this was something else entirely. Getting found out and hung was better than continuing to live a life in Jakku in most regards. She was never scared of death. But she was scared of this.

The kindness in this man’s eyes.

And she was lying to him.

She needed to find a way to get out of this. Needed to find a way to get as far away from Ben Solo as possible. For his protection, and for perhaps, her peace of mind. “Forgive me,” He said when they stopped kissing. “I just – I hope that was okay.”

“It was more than okay,” Rey said, “It was lovely.” Because it was true. It was. Rey’s head was still spinning. _What was she going to do?_

_

Ben counted the days until he and Rey really got to talk about what happened at the pond. Four, exactly. Four. She avoided meals with him and his families and took them in her room, using the excuse that she wanted to be alone, that she was thinking of her people. “Let the girl grieve,” Leia told him. She was gentler in giving him advice now, being that the two of them were barely on speaking terms.

“I think that I’ll do whatever I want, mother.” Still, he kept his distance while he could. He wondered if any part of it was his doing. If he had done something to upset her.

On day four, he couldn’t stand it anymore. He had to go and ask. He knocked on her door and found her there. She looked a little disoriented as she looked him up and down. “May I come in?”

“Why?” She asked.

“I just wanted to talk,” He said.

With that, she nodded and let him in.

Immediately, Ben turned when she closed the door behind her. “The first thing I want to do is apologize if I’ve done anything to offend you. I never meant to force myself on you, I simply just – I really like you.” He told her. He refrained from using the word love. Not now. It was too soon. “And if I did anything to hurt you I don’t think that I would ever be able to forgive myself, so please – if I did something I really need you to tell me –“

“Ben, what are you talking about?” She asked. That’s when Ben got a really good look at her. She looked like she had been crying. Her cheeks stained pink and her hair was a bit of a mess, unfurling from the braid that she so often wore.

“Are you okay?” Was the first thing that he asked her. She stared at him, not blinking, not even sure what to say. He could tell that there was something that she wanted to say, but she swallowed whatever lump was in her throat and shook her head yes.

“I would really like for you to leave,” She said. “I just – I need to be by myself, I promise that it’s nothing about you. I just need some time to myself.”

Ben felt like a bit of an ass, “Right.” He said. “Forgive me. I’ll see you tomorrow, yes?”

“Yes.” She said. “I promise.”

With that, he left.

__

Rey told herself that she was going to spend one last day with Ben before she made her escape and forgot about Lord Snoke and everyone else. Then, that would be it. She would take the money that she got and settle down somewhere away from prying eyes and people who asked questions.

Except there was a problem. One day with Ben turned into two. Two turned into three. Three turned into a week. A week turned into another month. She kept rationalizing it to herself that if Snoke came by and saw that he wasn’t dead yet, he would hire someone else to kill him. Rey would be there to make sure that that other assassin would not be successful in their job.

They had kissed a few more times since and every time Rey felt like she floating on a cloud, and for a second, she could pretend that she wasn’t actually lying to Ben. That she actually was who she said that she could stay here forever and love Ben.

Every time that she came down from that high, she remembered that she was lying to him, that she needed to leave to put him out of his misery. So, one night when everything was quiet and Ben didn’t visit her chambers, she packed up what few things she had and headed down to the stables. Careful to avoid guards in the mean time. 

She told herself that she was doing Ben a kindness, leaving like this would be better than having to confront him. He would be sad for maybe a month or two and then he would find someone else, an actual princess, that he could learn to love or at least be distracted by.

Rey had to end that train of thought, because even though she wanted Ben to be happy, the thought of him being with someone else made her feel nauseous. Two flights of stairs and then to the left and she would get to the stables. She had learned the halls of this castle well.

She could do this. She had stolen many horses before when she was getting away, but it was never like this. There were never feelings involved when she escaped. Maybe that was why she might’ve been a little more careless, or someone might’ve seen her. Because she wasn’t thinking clearly, but as soon as she picked a horse that looked sturdy enough to get her out of the kingdom but unremarkable enough to not be missed, she heard someone clear their throat. “Shit.”

“You know I wasn’t sure that was you until I got down here,” Ben walked in right behind her. She was grateful there were no guards down here as well. That would make things a lot messier than they were already about to get. “What are you doing, Rey?”

She didn’t want to look him in the eye, not now. “You need to head back up the stairs, Ben. Pretend you didn’t see me.”

“You’re out past curfew, crying in the stables, I don’t think it would be easy to pretend that I didn’t see that.” He said. His voice was firm but it was clear that there was still concern in his voice. “So, what’s going on.”

“I – Ben,” She said, “I need to leave here. Now, okay? It’s better for you and your safety if I do,”

“How do you know that?” He took one step forward and Rey took one step back. “If you’re leaving, if you’re in trouble and you’re scared, I can go with you. I will go with you.” He told her.

“I just do,”

“That’s not a good answer,”

He was right and she knew that.

It was now or never.

“I’m not a princess,” Rey said. She wasn’t sure what she was expecting but it just poured out of her. “I’m an assassin from Jakku that was sent here to kill you but it wasn’t anything personal and I didn’t have any idea who you were I just really needed the money because I am so sick and tired of being hungry and just – surviving and I got offered a lot of money so I took it. I took it not knowing that you’re an honorable and genuinely nice man that doesn’t deserve to be killed and I fell in love with you.”

Ben just stood there, stunned. He didn’t say anything to her and Rey took that chance to get on the horse and charge out of the stables, hoping to get a big enough a head start on him that she could just disappear. It seemed that nothing that she wanted to happen was going to happen for her tonight though, because she could hear the sound of a second horse running after her.

Of course.

Of course, Ben would chase her.

_Perhaps, he was coming to kill her_ , Rey thought. She deserved it, after everything that she had done. Not just lying to him, but the other people that she had killed as well. She supposed that it was a good run, that after all this time her death would be a good one. She kept riding though, even if she was going to die she was going to make a good chase of it first.

She wasn’t sure how long she had ridden before she could finally hear Ben’s voice, she just knew that it had started to rain. “Rey, will you just slow down!” He yelled above the rain. Her head was pounding. He was right behind her, gaining fast. “I just want to talk, come on. Slow down!”

“What are you doing out here?” She shouted back, “Just let me – go!” Rainwater was getting in her mouth, in her eyes, forcing her to slow down because she couldn’t see. She felt like she was drowning. Her dress was soaked and clung to her skin heavily. Then lightning struck not far off and her horse scared, throwing her, and throwing her hard.

Ben stopped and got up off his horse, running to her. It took a second for Rey to process what just happened, shivering and cold. “Are you okay?” He asked. His hands were on her, but he wasn’t making any moves to try and kill her, he was helping her up, checking on her. Making sure that she didn’t hit her head.

It was almost like he hadn’t just learned that she was hired to kill him. “What are you doing?” She didn’t mean for her voice to sound so weak. So vulnerable. She hated feeling vulnerable. “Why are you out here?”

“Because I wanted to talk, and you just ran.” The horses had both been scared away by then, and they were left there in the path by themselves.

“You didn’t take any guards with you,”

“Why would I need any guards?”

“Ben, I just told you that I was sent here to kill you.”

“Yeah, and?” He cocked his head to the side and Rey got up, still soaking. It seemed like the rain was just pouring down harder at this point.

“You should be so angry at me,” Rey said, “I _kill_ people for a living and I was going to do the same thing to you.”

“And you had a change of heart,” He said softly. Almost softly enough that Rey couldn’t hear him. “Can we talk about this somewhere a little less – wet.”

Rey didn’t have any choice but to follow. She was still dazed and out of breath but most importantly she was tired. Tired of it all. She followed him out of most of the storm and into the woods a little bit. Shivering. The two of them found a small little divet of rocks that made a makeshift shelter. There the both of them sat, silent for a while before Ben started to talk. “Before you try and persuade me to go back without you, I’m not going to do that.”

“Ben –”

“No, Rey. Listen to me.” He took a deep breath in and Rey tried to focus on the rain during the pause. “I’m in love with you.”

“And I lied to you,”

“Did you really though? So what. You’re not royal, that’s not a problem to me. What did you lie to me about exactly?”

“I don’t have parents,”

“And?”

“I never had a formal education, I stole books, learned for myself. I taught myself how to fight, that’s the only way that I was able to survive.” Rey was never someone who told the truth so much, but she told Ben everything, because right now she trusted him more than anything, and he listened. He listened to it all, and at the end of it he didn’t look at her like she was disgusting. He looked at her with more adoration than she had ever seen in her life and it just made her heart melt. “I just – I want to go somewhere far away from Jakku and live my life and not be so alone, I’ve been so alone all of my life, because I had to be but I am so tired of it.”

Ben grabbed her hand and Rey’s eyes met his, “You’re not alone.”

“Ben-,”

“Never, okay? You’re never alone.” That’s when Rey lost it. She just started to sob, actually sob, and she couldn’t stop. Ben embraced her, shushing her as best as he could. “You’re going to make yourself sick.” She couldn’t help herself. She cried until she was drained and the rain stopped and the two of them were left there, just holding each other. She wasn’t sure what was going to happen next, but she wasn’t expecting Ben to say, “Run away with me.”

“What?”

“Run away with me,” Ben repeated.

“Do you know what you’re saying?” Rey said. “The world isn’t as good as royalty, it is cruel and unforgiving and it is dangerous. Really dangerous.”

“And I don’t care, as long as I get to experience it.” He said. “I’ve been locked away in that damned castle for all of my life. I’m part of a bloodline that I don’t want to be a part of, my parents don’t trust me enough to rule and I _don’t want to rule either._ I just want to be with you. Only you.”

“Ben,” She said, “are you really sure of this?”

“Yes.” He said. “If you would have me.” Rey thought back to the money that she had hidden. It would be enough to get them far away from here. “We can go back to the castle and sneak in, I’ll steal some of my valuables and then we can leave. Never having to think of this wretched place again, and we can start a life together. Please, Rey. Be with me, I love you.”

“I love you too,” Rey told him.

“Will you come with me?”

“Yes.” Rey said. “I will.”


	3. epilogue - a year later

Rey had not been in a happier place in her life. Sure, she had to do some questionable things to get there, but she was happy now. Ben was too. Part of her had been convinced that the two of them would split due to some differences after he had run away with her. The two of them had settled down in a house away from all the noise of kingdoms, somewhere out of the eye of anyone. They would never suspect that a prince had run away with an assassin and were now living without fear and without expectation.

Sometimes, Rey would wake in the middle of the night, paranoid that someone would come for the two of them. But Ben was always there to soothe her and bring her back to bed. Here, the two of them were happiest. Holding each other and reassuring one another that they were okay.

Rey would be the one that went in to town most times, in case someone recognized Ben. In the year that the two of them had been together, no one had though. Rey was truly grateful for that, because at this point she really didn’t want to leave this place. One night, she and Ben were eating dinner together when she started to cry. “Is everything okay?” Ben asked her.

“Yeah,” Rey said, “it’s just, I never thought that I would have a home.”

“Well you have one now,” Ben told her.

“Yeah, I know.”

__

The first time that Ben took Rey to bed, the two of them were nervous. Rey had done this before, but it had never been a pleasant experience. “Is it okay that I’m not a virgin?” She told him. His cheeks had momentarily turned pink, but he reassured her that there would be nothing the world that would make him think less of her.

She smiled and told him that she loved him. And she did, she loved him with every piece of her soul. He made her feel whole again, make her feel like she was worthy of love. She showed her devotion to him in the bedroom, whispering little praises and sweet nothings into his skin. He would make her moan and feel the most pleasure that she had ever felt in her life. And she thought that this wasn’t so bad. Ben was a fast learner.

A really fast learner.

It was one of the many attributes that Rey learned to admire and love about him. By the end of the year, Ben had told her that he wanted to marry her. It didn’t even take any hesitation from her. She told him yes.

She couldn’t see herself being with anyone else.

They got married in private by the minister a month later.

After that year, Rey started a garden. Not just of flowers, but vegetables and fruits too, and she had never seen something flourish with so much life under her touch before. She had just thought that everything that she touched seemed to die.

Not anymore.

It was a month after that she fell sick.

Ben had been worried out of his mind until they had gone to the doctor. “Congratulations,” The physician had told the two of them.

“What? Isn’t she ill?” Ben had asked.

“Yes, she is. But it’s perfectly normal. She’s pregnant.”

After that, life was a little weird. At first, Rey was worried. She had always wanted a family but after everything, did she deserve it? Ben was ecstatic. “Aren’t you happy about this?”

“Yes,” She said, “more than anything. I just – do I deserve it? I keep thinking that.” Ben nodded understandingly. “You have given me so much happiness in my life and I just – I just keep being reminded of all the awful sins that I have made and I just – “

“Rey,” Ben said, he had the patience of a saint in his voice and he knelt beside her, grabbing her hand. “You deserve the world and more.” Rey bit her lip. There was only one person who could drive her to tears so quickly, and it was him. “And I would give you everything in the world if I could, you are my wife, my only love, and I know that you told me that you wanted a family. It’s okay to get things that you want, even if you past is less than stellar. I love you, everything about you. Your past. Your present. Your future. And I just want to tell you that you deserve this, and you’ll be a great mother.”

“I love you, Ben.”

“I love you too, Rey.” The two of them kissed and then Ben pulled back, a goofy grin spreading across his face. “I’m going to be a dad.”

“Yes, you are.” She said. “You’re going to be the best dad in the world. And our child is going to be so loved,”

“Definitely.” He said. “Definitely.”


End file.
